Reality infringes on my fragile fairy tale during the wakeful hours of the day so I paint love on your closed eyelids while you sleep so at least I can have you these few brief moments of the night.


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The sun is burning cigarette holes in the film of my dreams and your clattering about in the kitchen sounds like the whole damn world is coming to an end. God, how I truly hate f*cking mornings! I hate waking up next to you, but it’s just that I just hate waking up, truth be told. The “next to” bit falls between the cracks of my mind that is ( Read more... )

 Oh, it’s time. It’s time, precious. It’s time to conclude all the unfinished conversations. It’s time to dot the T’s and cross the I’s and to check up on all the other letters: are they in order? It’s time to settle old accounts; and remember to take the receipt, because, oh, you just never know. It’s time to confess and ask for forgiveness ( Read more... )

I allow my pain to become my own little source of light in the darkness of this unbearable circumstance that birthed it; my fireplace, to which I cozy up when the world turns its face on me and there is no one to listen to my pleas; my churchcandle, to which I whisper my unanswered prayers in hopes of searing my persistent memories right out of my ( Read more... )

 I walk along the passages of the years passed and nostalgia stalks me behind every corner of recollection. The alleys are wearing down, the paint on the walls chipping, little stones becoming dislodged and turning into fine dust beneath my feet. The traps full of tears that all my past heartbreaks are setting up for me seem artless now. I avoid ( Read more... )

It  is rather frightening what a tremendous lasting effect a momentary weakness can have...

As my dried cracked lips search for you in the gloomy emptiness of the night, I wonder where you are gone to, lying here, right next to me and miles away.  The sweaty sheets bear witness to everything that could have been but was rudely interrupted by somebody else’s memories gushing into my life.

I, of that time, no longer am.  And yet on ( Read more... )

Rivers of hopelessness flowing down my face, washing off yesterday’s makeup and today’s hopes. A really pissed off little something pounding angrily on my left temple from inside. I cower from the light: it makes the little bastard pound with renewed urgency ( Read more... )

With the screaming silence filling the void between the rest of the world and me I sometimes feel like my head will explode. Not quite sure how I let it get this way: I am typically so cautiously guarded. But love does this to you, strips you of all your defenses, makes you vulnerable, makes you face the cruel world outside on your own ( Read more... )

I open my eyes with difficulty, my lids don’t want to come apart, and I slowly remember to reproach myself silently for falling asleep with my contacts in yet again. The traces of my dream flutter around my head for a few more seconds and then they are gone before I can catch a snippet and bring the dream back. The only thing left of it is the ( Read more... )